Video: The Talking Head argument

Ryanne and I started dating a year ago.
We had a whirlwind romance with videoblogging...and with each other.
I now live with her in the middle of Harlem. We have fast wi-fi, desks side by side, and a kitchen full of our favorite food.
As we each work, we talk about the things that excite us, make us angry, and gossip.
We get to build things.

When we met online a year ago, she lived in Boston and I lived in Manhattan.
After she commented on one of my videos, we started watching each other's work.
One day Ryanne asked if I wanted to 'collaborate'...so we set up our own private videoblog.
Almost every day we posted videos about our lives, where we worked, things we did, what we thought.

These are two videos when Ryanne and I told each other how we felt about each other.
Together, they are about 10 minutes long.
They are extremely hard for us to watch because we are so vunerable. It's that moment when you take a chance and say, you mean a lot to me.

Emails would not have captured the craziness of how we felt. We couldn't be so intimate in phone calls because of the immediacy of the moment and fear of the other person judging you.
But making recorded video allowed us to open up.

There is a running thread in the Videoblogging community about "talking head videos" and the "need for an audience".
In a certain context, these arguments make a lot of sense.
Talking heads can be boring. And why videoblog if you don't want a lot of people to watch?
However, it all depends on what you want to accomplish. There is a danger in thinking a videoblog is simply a TV channel.
A videoblog can be many things.

The videos we made over a three month period changed my life.
Very quickly Ryanne learned of all my craziness and was/is cool with it (so far).
I believe we got to know each other very fast and deep not only because we were ready to share...but also because of the rich information that comes through video.

Ryanne's talking head meant more to me than anything else going on at the time.
Also, these videos were meant only for us. We did not want anyone else to be a part.
I share them here because, after talking it over, we agreed that they were a good example of how people can share themselves online through videoblogging.

Why didn't Ryanne and I just email videos to each other?
It was important for us to post them to a blog so we could see what we were building.
It's also great that we now have an archive that we can go back to and see.
It's was real then and it's real now.

Anyway, happy anniversary Ryanne.

Comments

[daniel]

beautiful & brave...

in an earlier post jay wrote:

"Here he was, a enthusiastic amateur, trying to visually record something happening in his backyard. He wanted this to exist so badly.
120 years later, we're at the point where someone can record his life and have it seen by anyone on the planet, automatically archived for history. Our grandkids will know us so well."

this video feels like flipping through the opening pages of videoblogging's family album.

[Monika]

Wow... and I thought the stuff you guys posted on Ryanne's site was intimate. I am blown way. This is beautiful. Thanks.

[Pat O'Dea]

It's pretty amazing to be able to see these in hindsight and know sort of how its worked out. This could inspire people to think about vlogging or opening up and connecting in general. Thanks (as always) for sharing.

[paul]

It's obvious this story belongs on Ophra. Every blizzard will be a celebration from now on!

[Jeff]

Wow! Powerful stuff. I don't think I'd have the balls to show such intimate moments. Very courageous. Thanks for letting us in. Congrats on your 'collaboration' with Ryanne. Both of you, keep up the good work.

[Francisco Daum]

Frank Sinatra-
"Love is a many-splendored thing,
It's the April rose that only grows in the early spring,
Love is nature's way of giving a reason to be living,
The golden crown that makes a man a king.
Once on a high and windy hill,
In the morning mist two lovers kissed and the world stood still,
Then our fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing,
Yes, true love's a many-splendored thing."

You guys ought to start an open source match site like match.com but for free though. This reminds me an Ingmar Bergmann movie (The Seventh Seal) wherein God's existence is questioned. The answer was "Love proves God's existence".

[Bekah]

I loved these. I was going to say how brave it was to post something so very, very personal, but that got me thinking: why is it that we have to muster up so much courage to share ourselves? I have no idea why, but we do. We Humans are really pretty shy creatures. I think video was the perfect way to capture the immediacy of these feelings...when you feel like if you don't say it right this very second, you'll burst. The phone is no good because you can't see the other person, and email is speedy but too cold, and emailing the video wouldn't facilitate being able to watch the progression of what was happening over time.

I think this was just about the most romantic thing I've ever seen, and I'm not someone who sees romance in just any ol' thing. This was something special, indeed.

Thanks so much for sharing it and Happy Anniversary.

[juan carlos gonzalrz]

In all Expanded Media, this is truely the greatest love story I have ever been witness to.

[sull]

all i can say is, whenever i think of you two... as in you two as a couple, i smile.
thanks for sharing this.

[Bre]

This is the best. You two were so darn open and sweet in these videos. Thanks for sharing!

[john]

Thanks for posting this...You get to see the emotional side, It's very much like phone calls but with an extra twist. I bet you just couldnt wait for the next videoblog from each other..like "whats he gonna say" next..."what's she gonna say next" Its hard to put into words...Isnt it great that you both have a common interest....By the way...an interesting shaving technique you have...rinsing the razor...why not just fill the sink in the first place?....thanks again.

[hilton]

I hope we can watch this for years to come. very cool

[alexander]

You two are an inspiration to us all.

[richard]

The fact is, this pair of videos from you and Ryanne capture the spirit of why I video blog more than any others I have seen. That's pretty much what I think of this "argument" - people keep making videos, and a lot of them cool and creative, despite our arguments.

[Tim McFarlane]

Wow, that was great. Really nice...

[Nick]

that is a great story...thanks for putting it out there for everyone to see.

[Bill Streeter]

I totally agree. I was telling someone this recently. Personal vlogs can be like heirloom objects, they might only have value to a small group of people--like baby pictures or grandpas pocket watch--just because they don't mean anything to a large mass audience doesn't mean that they shouldn't be made. It's a big internet out there, there is room for everything. There is a reason why the mass media is called the mass media--it has to appeal to the masses. We video bloggers and podcasters don't have such restrictions--we can be as niche as we want to be.

But, that being said, I found this exchange to be interesting even though I don't know either of you. Because given the context I think it has something that we can all relate to. Something basically human, the tender beginnings of a new love. And that's universal.

[Mary C. Matthews]

Dear Jay & Ryanne -

This is one close shave of the heart. I am very impressed and extremely touched. Watching this made me feel like this is why the internet was invented. And maybe it is.

[Erin Nealey]

Wow.. this video really put a smile on my face. What a cool thing to be able to look back at those videos for years to come and actually see the moment when you expressed your feelings for each other. There aren't many people that have those kinds of things documented. Really awesome and thanks for sharing!

[deeharvey]

Happy Anniversary. This is a really beautiful piece of video - thanks for sharing it.

[Michael Tyas]

This is so romantic! And beautiful! And inspiring! I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

Do you feel like you moved in with each other 'mentally' long before you actually moved in together? The way you were talking to each other, in the comfort of your own homes, being tired, shaving, so intimate and comfortable and homey.

Happy Anniversary!

[Brett]

Doesn't the Mach 3 kick major ass?

Anyway, happy anniversary - you guys inspired me to videoblog!

[Ivettza]

damm.
i don't know what to say.
i felt i was intruding on a very personal moment shared between you guys.
like i didn't belong there.
i felt kind of awkward, but at the same time amazed that you both were able to put it out there despite the risks.
thanks.

[Juan]

Jay, this is so INCREDIBLE!!!! I wish I had this kind of videos with my wife. Videos which show how our relation came to be. I mean, can you imagine in the future telling your kids, or grand children how you two met, how you to came to be together..... and then suddenly you can say, "hey, but you guys can SEE HOW IT HAPPENED!!!!"

Watching this video was an incredible experience. Really.

And then your answer while shaving yourself!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!! Totally unexpected!!!! But pretty funny!!!!

Oooh, so this is when you had a mustache and took it of...

Congratulations on this aniversary. I wish you both A LOT of happyness!!!!! And a lot of love!!!!!

One question, when ever you decide to get married, are you both going to be videoblogging???? THAT woulc be hilariuos!!! Both of you in the church (or sinagogue, or whatever), both with cameras rolling, and in different moments each one talking to their cameras!!!!! THAT'S FOR A MOVIE!!!!!!!!
:)

[trine]

congratulations. it feels a bit strange looking in, as it were, but it's also incredible fascinating. Thanks for sharing. and thank gog the mustache went! ;-)